Hogan stars here as Mike, who leads a crack commando squad featuring the likes of Apollo Creed (Carl Weathers). Hogan in a ridiculous wig doing high kicks into forward rolls climaxing by throwing ninja stars was worth whatever the folks hosting this site want to bill me. Two minutes in, and I’m pretty sure I’ve already overrun my data limit for the site for the next six months. On the other hand, you’ve lived your life without seeing cinematic glory such as this:

…you’ve not seen as many of these things as I have. Now if you are truly pondering who this mysterious martial arts master is, well… We’re never shown his face, just his jacked up bod and flowing blonde hair. The movie opens with a mysterious muscle man doing various karate poses on a beach. Still, a lot of people look back fondly on those times so what the heck, let’s just dive in headfirst and see what kinda stupidity we get with Shadow Warriors 2 (aka Assault on Death Mountain)! I just use the term because I laughed like a hyena when Triple Kelly mentioned that in an induction years ago. And I’m a man and thus have absolutely no idea what that sensation even would be.

Santa with Muscles, No Holds Barred, Thunder in Paradise…I get douche chills just thinking about those. It seemed like every other week I was inducting one of his cinematic disasters. Someone must have sent it to me years ago (my money’s on The Big Cheese, Paul Kraft) and remembering the story of Pandora’s Box, I just never dared to open it.īut try as I may to run from the horrors of my past, in many ways, was founded on schlocky Hogan movies.

Shadow of a doubt 90s movie